Strategi TOEFL (Structure and Written Ekspression)

Structure and Written Expression

Test TOEFL tentu sulit bagi orang yang kurang memahami bahasa Inggris, seperti pada bagian grammar. Mungkin kita dapat kecewa bila nanti tidak dapat hasil maksimal dalam TOEFL hanya karena kesulitan pada bagian Structure and Written Expression, oleh karena itu kita harus memperhatikan hal-hal semacam berikut

1) Jumlah soal

Waktu yang diberikan untuk mengerjakan soal structure and written expression pada soal TOEFL ialah 40 soal.

2) Durasi waktu tes

Untuk jumlah waktu itu sendiri kita hanya diberi 25 menit dalam mengerjakan 40 soal. Soal pada bagian structure and written expression yang cukup banyak tidak berimbas kepada waktu pengerjaan soal yang cukup sesuai untuk orang yang tidak terbiasa berbahasa Inggris. Kita harus percaya diri dalam mengerjakan bagian ini karena setiap section berpengaruh terhadap hasil secara keseluruhan.

3) Bagian-bagian pada structure and written expression.

Pada doal TOEFL di bagian 2 atau section 2 kita akan mendapatkan soal berupa structure (sentence completion) dan written expression (Error identification). Kedua hal ini merupakan 2 jenis soal yang berbeda. Pada bagian structure kita diwajibkan memilih jawaban yang tepat pada soal pilihan ganda ataumultiple choice.

Pada bagian structure completion kita diperintahkan agar kita dapat memilih grammar yang lebih banyak mengenai tenses, preposition, dan ejaan yang disepurnakan dalam bahasa Inggris. Sementara pada bagian written expression (Error identification), kita harus menentukan jawaban yang salah dari kata-kata yang digaris bawahi.

Soal berdasarkan skill dalam ‘Structure and Written Expression’ - 1st Skill

SKILL 1: BE SURE THE SENTENCE HAS A SUBJECT AND A VERB 

Pastikan suatu kalimat itu memiliki satu subject dan satu verb. Kemungkinan dalam suatu kalimat kehilangan subject atau verbnya atau mungkin pula kelebihan subject dan verb. Dalam skill 1 ini harus lebih ditekankan mengenai Subject-verb agreement berarti kesesuain verb (kata kerja) dan subjek. Ingat bahwa subject dan verb dalam sebuah kalimat harus sesuai (agree). Subjek yang tunggal (singular subject) harus bertemu dengan kata kerja tunggal pula (singular verb); subjek jamak (plural subject) harus bertemu dengan kata kerja yang jamak (plural verb). Sebagai contoh:

Example 1:

...was backed up for miles on the freeway.

(A) Yesterday 

(B) In the Morning 

(C) Traffic 

(D) Cars 

Contoh di atas terlihat bahwa memiliki verb yaitu WAS tapi tidak memiliki subject. Jawaban C adalah yang terbaik karena TRAFFIC merupakan subject tunggal yang sinkron dengan WAS (verb tunggal). Jawaban A dan B salah karena bukan subject tetapi keterangan waktu, dan jawaban D memang merupakan subject tapi subject jamak (plural) dan tidak sinkron dengan verb was yang tunggal (singular).

Example 2: 

Engineers...for work on the new space program. 

(A) Necessary 

(B) Are needed 

(C) Hopefully 

(D) Next month

Contoh di atas terlihat bahwa telah memiliki subject Engineers dan tidak memiliki verb. Karena jawaban B, Are Needed adalah verb maka ini adalah jawaban terbaik. Jawaban A, C, dan D bukan verb, sehingga salah.

Example 3:

The boy...going to the movies

(A) he is 

(B) he always was

(C) is relaxing

(D) will be

Kalimat di atas telah memiliki subject (the boy) dan memiliki part of verb (going), agar kalimat tersebut benar maka butuh bentuk verb BE agar kalimatnya menjadi komplit. Jawaban A dan B salah karena akan kelebihan subject (he). Jawaban C salah karena akan double verb ING dengan GOING. Jawaban D adalah yang terbaik karena untuk melengkapi kata Going yang butuh to BE.

Example 4:

My best friend...always helpful with problems. 

(A) Are

(B) Who

(C) Was

(D) Will

(E) Is

Subject dari kalimat ini adalah My best friend, tapi tidak memiliki Verb. Jawaban yang paling cocok adalah (e) is, oleh karena itu kalimat yang benar seharusnya My best friend is always helpful and with problems.

Example 5:

The customer...paying the clerk for the clothes. 

(A) Is

(B) Want

(C) Can

(D) No

(E) Are

Kalimat diatas sudah memiliki Subject the customer dan part of verb paying. Kalimat diatas membutuhkan tobe untuk menjadikannya complete verb, maka jawaban dari soal di atas adalah (a) is, karena kalimat yang benar seharusnya adalah The customer is paying the clerk for the clothes.

Example 6:

Mark Twain...the years after the Civil War the “Gilded Age.”

(A) called

(B) calling

(C) he called

(D) hiscalls

Kalimat diatas sudah memiliki Subject yaitu Mark Twain, tapi belum memiliki verb. Jawaban terbaik adalah (A) called karena kalimatnya berbetuk simple past.

Example 7:

I...ACL at the Gunadarma University.

(A) was studying

(B) get finish learn

(C) with you go to

(D) studying

(E) am studying

Kalimat diatas sudah memiliki subject namun belum memiliki verb, kalimat yang tepat adalah I am studying ACL at the Gunadarma University. karena setelah to be “am” dapat ditemani oleh v+ing

Example 8:

8. My brother...very smart

(A) are

(B) is

(C) am

(D) was

(E) have

Kalimat di atas sudah memiliki subject tapi belum memiliki verb, kalimat yang tepat adalah my brother is very smart.

Example 9:

Those futsal shoes...expensive

(A) is

(B) am

(C) are

(D) was

Kalimat yang tepat adalah Those futsal shoes are expensive, karena subjek those futsal shoes adalah jamak, maka kalimat memerlukan to be dalam bentuk plural.

Example 10: 

The Borobudur temple...Magelang, Indonesia

(A) landmarks

(B) is a landmarked in

(C) is a landmark in

(D) is in a landmark

The Borobudur temple is a landmark in Magelang, Indonesia karena mengikuti aturan kalimat bahasa Inggris, sebuah kalimat harus memiliki subjek dan verb, dalam hal ini, The Borobudur Temple adalah single subject sehingga memerlukan to be yang singular, yakni is. Dan kalimat tersebut membutuhkan sebuah complement untuk kebutuhan Modifier place yakni, Magelang, sehingga landmark berfungsi sebagai noun dan tidak bisa digunakan dalam bentuk verb 2 & 3 karena peran verbs sudah digantikan oleh to be, is.

Kalimat dalam bahasa Inggris setidak-tidaknya harus memiliki subject dan verb. Tipe masalah paling umum dalam pertanyaan-pertanyaan pada sesi structure and written expression adalahsubject dan verb. Terdapat beberapa kemungkinan dalam hal ini, diantaranya adalah:

• Kalimat tidak mengandung subject atau verb;
• Kalimat tidak mengandung subject dan verb;
• Kalimat mengandung extra subject atau extra verb.

Contoh soal TOEFL Subject dan Verb - Pertama

_______ was obtained through observation and interview.

a. The datum

b. Yesterday
c. The data
d. This evening

Analisis soal TOEFL Subject dan Verb - Pertama

Soal diatas tidak memiliki subject namun memiliki verb, yaitu ‘was’. Untuk menjawab soal diatas, Anda diharuskan untuk mengisi baris yang kosong dengan subject yang sesuai dengan verb (was). Opsi pertama (the datum) adalah jawaban yang paling tepat. Opsi kedua bukan subject. Opsi ketiga adalah subject, namun kurang tepat karena verb dari contoh soal diatas adalah ‘was’ yang berarti bahwa subject dari kalimat diatas harus subject singular atau tunggal; 'the data' merupakan bentukplural atau bentuk jamak dari 'the datum'. Opsi keempat juga bukan merupakan subject.

Contoh soal TOEFL Subject dan Verb - Kedua

The students _______ to submit their assignments on-time.
a. Should be
b. Are required
c. Will never
d. Is required

Analisis soal TOEFL Subject dan Verb - Kedua

Soal diatas telah memiliki subject yaitu 'the students', namun tidak memiliki verb. Subject tersebut merupakan subject plural atau jamak. Oleh karena itu, pilihan jawaban yang paling tepat adalah opsi 'are required'. Opsi 'is required' merupakan opsi pengecoh yang mendekati jawaban benar karena opsi tersebut juga merupakan verb, namun pemilihan opsi 'is required' kurang tepat mengingatsubject dalam contoh diatas merupakan subject plural atau jamak, sehingga membutuhkan verb ‘are required’.

Appositive adalah noun yang terletak sebelum atau sesudah noun yang lain yang merujuk kepada rujukan yang sama. Appositive biasanya terletak diantara koma dan bisa juga terletak sebelum subjek inti dari sebuah kalimat. Untuk lebih memahami pembahasan strategi TOEFL terkaitappositive, perhatikan contoh berikut.

Contoh Appositive

 Andy, the best student in the class, got an A on exam.

Pada contoh diatas, Andy merupakan subject kalimat sementara 'student' merupakan appositive. Frase 'the best student in the class' merujuk kepada Andy. Berikut ini merupakan bentuk lain dariappositive. 

 The best student in the class, Andy got an A on exam.

Pada contoh diatas, appositive terletak diawal kalimat. Frase 'the best student in the class' juga merujuk kepada Andy. Berikut ini merupakan contoh soal TOEFL sesi structure and written expression yang menggunakan appositive.

Contoh Soal TOEFL Appositive

Contoh Soal TOEFL Appositive - Pertama

_______, Josh, is attending the lecture.
a. Right now
b. Fortunately
c. Because of
d. My son

Pada contoh soal diatas, Josh bukanlah subject dari kalimat karena berada diantara koma. Josh dalam contoh kalimat diatas merupakan appositive.

Contoh Soal TOEFL Appositive - Kedua

Josh, _______, has graduated as the best student.
a. A smart boy is my son
b. A smart and good-looking boy
c. A smart and handsome boy will be
d. A 6 years old boy is now

Analisis Soal TOEFL Appositive

Kalimat pada contoh soal pertama diatas membutuhkan subject yang merujuk ke appositive ‘Josh’. Opsi jawaban yang paling tepat untuk mengisi bagian yang kosong adalah opsi ‘my son’. Opsi jawaban a, b, dan c tidak tepat karena ketiga opsi tersebut bukanlah subject.


Pada contoh soal kedua diatas, Josh merupakan subject kalimat. Opsi jawaban yang paing tepat untuk mengisi baris yang kosong adalah opsi ‘a smart and good-looking boy’ karena frase tersebut merujuk kepada subject kalimat, yaitu ‘Josh’. Jika memilih opsi jawaban a, b, dan c, maka akan mengakibatkan double verb.

Mother's Sacrifice

My mom only had one eye. I hated her… she was such an embarrassment. My mom ran a small shop at a flea market. She collected little weeds and such to sell… anything for the money we needed she was such an embarrassment. There was this one day during elementary school.

I remember that it was field day, and my mom came. I was so embarrassed. How could she do this to me? I threw her a hateful look and ran out. The next day at school… “Your mom only has one eye?!” and they taunted me.

I wished that my mom would just disappear from this world so I said to my mom, “Mom, why don’t you have the other eye?! You’re only going to make me a laughingstock. Why don’t you just die?” My mom did not respond. I guess I felt a little bad, but at the same time, it felt good to think that I had said what I’d wanted to say all this time. Maybe it was because my mom hadn’t punished me, but I didn’t think that I had hurt her feelings very badly.

That night… I woke up, and went to the kitchen to get a glass of water. My mom was crying there, so quietly, as if she was afraid that she might wake me. I took a look at her, and then turned away. Because of the thing I had said to her earlier, there was something pinching at me in the corner of my heart. Even so, I hated my mother who was crying out of her one eye. So I told myself that I would grow up and become successful, because I hated my one-eyed mom and our desperate poverty.

Then I studied really hard. I left my mother and came to Seoul and studied, and got accepted in the Seoul University with all the confidence I had. Then, I got married. I bought a house of my own. Then I had kids, too. Now I’m living happily as a successful man. I like it here because it’s a place that doesn’t remind me of my mom.

This happiness was getting bigger and bigger, when someone unexpected came to see me “What?! Who’s this?!” It was my mother… Still with her one eye. It felt as if the whole sky was falling apart on me. My little girl ran away, scared of my mom’s eye.

And I asked her, “Who are you? I don’t know you!!” as if I tried to make that real. I screamed at her “How dare you come to my house and scare my daughter! Get out of here now!!” And to this, my mother quietly answered, “oh, I’m so sorry. I may have gotten the wrong address,” and she disappeared. Thank goodness… she doesn’t recognize me. I was quite relieved. I told myself that I wasn’t going to care, or think about this for the rest of my life.

Then a wave of relief came upon me… one day, a letter regarding a school reunion came to my house. I lied to my wife saying that I was going on a business trip. After the reunion, I went down to the old shack, that I used to call a house…just out of curiosity there, I found my mother fallen on the cold ground. But I did not shed a single tear. She had a piece of paper in her hand…. it was a letter to me.

She wrote:

My son, I think my life has been long enough now. And… I won’t visit Seoul anymore… but would it be too much to ask if I wanted you to come visit me once in a while? I miss you so much. And I was so glad when I heard you were coming for the reunion. But I decided not to go to the school…. For you… I’m sorry that I only have one eye, and I was an embarrassment for you. You see, when you were very little, you got into an accident, and lost your eye. As a mother, I couldn’t stand watching you having to grow up with only one eye… so I gave you mine… I was so proud of my son that was seeing a whole new world for me, in my place, with that eye. I was never upset at you for anything you did. The couple times that you were angry with me. I thought to myself, ‘it’s because he loves me.’ I miss the times when you were still young around me. I miss you so much. I love you. You mean the world to me.

My World Shattered.  I hated the person who only lived for me .   I cried for My Mother, I didn’t know of any way that will make up for my worst deeds…

Moral:  Never Ever hate anyone for their disabilities.  Never disrespect your parents, don’t ignore and under estimate their sacrifices.  They give us life, they raise us better than they had been, they give and keep trying to give better than they ever had.  They never wish unwell for their kids even in their wildest dreams.  They always try showing right path and being motivator.  Parents give up all for kids, forgive all mistakes made by kids.  There is no way to repay what they done for kids, all we can do is try giving what they need and it is just time, love and respect.

A Little Help From a Friend

"Watch out!" shouted Martin, a wee, gray mouse. "You nearly stepped on me again." Martin looked up at the huge bull. "Why don’t you be more careful and watch where you walk!"

Rusty pulled a few thistles out of the damp earth. "I’m not going to look at the ground every single step I take. I’ve more important things to do. I’ve got to keep my eyes open for some fluffy, purple thistles and for the most tender heather bells. I think YOU should watch where you are going!"

"I’m always searching for seeds, nuts and berries. I can’t always be watching out for a big, clumsy highland bulls, such as yourself. I was just sitting here minding my own business when you came by and stepped on my tail. I don’t think there’s room in this glen for both of us," Martin challenged.

"Oh? Would you like to have a contest and whoever loses has to leave the glen?" Rusty suggested.

"What kind of a contest? Remember, you’re a huge bull and I’m only a wee mouse. What sort of thing could we do that is fair?" Martin wondered.

"I challenge you to a swimming contest. The first one of us to swim across the loch is the winner. The loser stays on the other side and never comes back to this glen. Have we got a deal?" Rusty asked.

Martin rubbed his furry chin and played with his whiskers. "That hardly seems fair. You’re much bigger than I am and could swim across the loch much quicker."

"You’re right, I am bigger than you are, but because I am so big and have so much hair, I couldn’t possibly swim as fast as a wee mouse, such as yourself," Rusty argued.

Martin bounced his long tail up and down as he thought about what Rusty had said. "That makes sense. I’ll meet you down at the loch." The mouse ran into the tall grass.

Rusty plodded down to the muddy bank of the loch. It was wide and very deep. "I can do this," he sighed. "I am tired of that mouse always bothering me. I’ll swim across and win and then never have to see him again in my glen."

Martin came running out of the grass. "I’m ready." He stood gazing across the loch. "Gulp. The loch’s much wider than I had thought."

"I’ll tell you what, I’ll give you a head start, because you’re so wee. You go ahead, jump in, and start swimming. I’ll count to ten and then I’ll start," Rusty smiled, knowing that the mouse couldn’t possibly go too far in that short a time.

"Thanks, Rusty. That’s nice of you," Martin said. He took a few steps backwards and ran as fast as he could. He leapt into the cold water and started swimming.

"One, two, three, four, five, six, seven, eight, nine, ten. Here I come," shouted Rusty. He jumped into the water, sending a huge wave out in all directions. Martin wasn’t far enough away and got caught in the splash. He was picked up and tossed back onto the shore with the water.

"Cough, cough, cough. Hey! That wasn’t fair! Now I’ve got to start all over," the mouse cursed. He was already tired from all the swimming.

Rusty ignored Martin’s cries and kept on going. His long, shaggy, reddish fur was heavy in the water and slowed him down, but not enough for Martin to catch up. Martin sat in the mud. He began to cry. "I’ll never win now. I don’t want to leave the glen. It’s my home."

Just then the water began to shake and shimmer. A huge green head burst through the surface. "Who are you?" Martin shivered in fear.

"I’m Nessie. Some people call me the Loch Ness monster, but I’m not really a monster. I’m actually a dinosaur. I live in the caves under the water. I was swimming by and saw you crying. What’s the matter?" she asked.

"Rusty and I are having a race. Whoever wins gets to live in the glen," Martin said. He told Nessie the whole story.

"So, the bull is a bit of a bully," Nessie said. "I can help you. Why don’t you climb on top of my head and I’ll swim you over. I’ll stay under the water so Rusty can’t see you. When we get near the shore, I’ll sink down and you can swim the last bit to the shore."

"That’s a great idea," Martin laughed. "That way Rusty can’t step on me anymore because he’ll have to live on the other side of the loch. I’ll be able to eat my berries, nuts and seeds without getting hurt."

"Climb aboard," Nessie said. She sunk into the water and the wee mouse sat on her head. It looked like he was swimming as she made her way into the depths of the loch.

Soon they passed the struggling bull. "Getting tired?" Martin asked, as he whizzed by.

Rusty was surprised to see the mouse swimming by. "How did he catch up with me so quickly?" he wondered.

Nessie stayed hidden and dropped Martin off close to shore. "Thanks, Nessie," Martin waved.

Nessie raised her head a bit and whispered, "Beat the bully," and then she disappeared under the water.

Martin swam a few more feet and pulled himself out of the water. He sat on the muddy bank drying himself off with a huge leaf. A few minutes later Rusty swam ashore. His fur dripped with water. "How did you beat me here?" he asked the mouse. "You’re just a wee mouse. I didn’t think mice could swim that fast."

"Looks like you lost, Rusty. You have to stay over here on this side of the loch," Martin reminded the bull.

Rusty was angry. He wasn’t happy that he’d lost. He gave out a loud MOO and stomped into a wood of rowan trees.

A few minutes later, Nessie came back out of the water. "Ready to go home?" she asked.

Martin climbed on top and Nessie swam across the loch, but this time kept her neck and head out of the water. She let Martin off on the other side. "There you go," she said.

He climbed off and stood in a patch of yellow buttercups. The two of them could see Rusty standing on the hillside across the loch. "Go and enjoy your seeds in peace. I’m off to my cave now, and if you ever have problems with other bullies, you know where to find me," Nessie said and disappeared below the water.

Martin never had to worry about being stepped on again now that Rusty was gone. He could run through the glen and didn’t have to watch where he was going.

A Surprise in a Kelp

A raft of sea otters floated among the kelp fronds. Waves lapped against their fur as they bobbed up and down. "I’m tired of eating mussels," whined Chloe. "Do you know how long it’s been since I’ve eaten a sea urchin?"

"Och, that sounds delicious," Ainslee agreed. "I can almost taste it now. Yummy."

"Why don’t we each go down to the bottom and see if we can find a few? Wee Bonnie, you’ll have to stay up here though. Mummy will bring you back a crab or an abalone. Would you like that?" Maisie asked her bairn.

"Yes, Mummy. I’d love a crab," wee Bonnie said.

"You stay here and we’ll be right back. Hold onto the kelp fronds," Maisie said.

The other sea otters in the raft dove beneath the waves. They went from rock to rock, looking everywhere. When they surfaced, they had an assortment of things. "I found three mussels," Leslie said. She lay on her back and pounded the blackish-purple shells open with a stone she’d carried up.

"I found two abalone," Mahri said. She started banging them together, anxious to have the tasty meat inside.

"Mummy brought you a crab," Maisie said, handing wee Bonnie the wriggling crustacean. Wee Bonnie lay on her back and bit into the crab’s shell. "Delicious," she said, gobbling down the tender meat inside. Maisie had picked up a few crabs for herself and started eating them.

Chloe had an octopus in her paws. "Och, I hope it’s not too tough. Sometimes octopus is very chewy," she said. She bit into it. "Brilliant! It’s tender and delicious."

"You’re being very quiet over there, Ainslee," Mahri said. "Didn’t you find something to eat?"

Ainslee was hiding among the kelp. "Ainslee, what have you go there?" Chloe asked.

Wee Bonnie swam over to see. "She’s got a sea urchin, Mummy. It’s purple and crunchy."

"What? You found a sea urchin?" Maisie shouted. "You were going to hide it from us, were you?"

Ainslee lay on her back nibbling away on the urchin. "Well! You could have offered to share," Mahri said.

"Aye, Ainslee," Leslie added. "You could have given each of us a wee bite, especially wee Bonnie. She’s never tasted urchin before."

Ainslee stopped eating. "Och, all right. Come here, wee Bonnie. I’ll give you a bite, but the rest of you will have to find your own sea urchin." She bit a piece off and gave it to the wee one.

"That’s delicious. I like sea urchin. I want more sea urchin, Mummy!" wee Bonnie began to wail.

"Now look what you’ve done!" Maisie said to Ainslee. "You’ve gone and made wee Bonnie cry."

Suddenly Ainslee disappeared beneath the water. "Where did she go?" Leslie asked.

Ainslee surfaced a few minutes later. "Here you go, ladies. Urchins for everyone," she giggled and passed one of the prickly purple creatures to each of them. I found a whole lot of them. Here’s one for you, wee Bonnie."

The sea otters tossed their crabs, mussels, and abalone into the waves and nibbled on sea urchin. Two seagulls came flying by and spotted the half-eaten shellfish. They landed near the raft of sea otters.

"We’re eating sea urchin," wee Bonnie told the seagulls. "It’s delicious." The seagulls squawked and flew off with their leftover bits of abalone, mussel and crab.

"You told them!" Maisie laughed. The others joined in.

"You can’t have sea urchin every day, wee Bonnie, but now and then for a special treat, we’ll find you some," her mum said.

After they’d finished eating, the otters lay on their backs and took a nap as the waves carried them gently out to sea.

Down The Line

Down the line we went, shuffling timidly as the guards watched like hawks through mirrored sunglasses. Step by step, we moved along. Slowly, desperately trying to delay the inevitable or at least prepare ourselves mentally for what was to come. Each one looking down, avoiding eye contact with the prison guards, keeping their gazes firmly glued to the man in front of them.

“They can’t keep doing this to us! This is a free country!” whispered the man behind me. I didn’t bother respond. It wouldn’t do any good to discuss the situation. Probably just make it worse.

He continued, “This has to be cruel and unusual punishment or somethin’ right? Maybe we should get a lawyer, see if we can do anything about it.”

The thought stirred a slight bit of hope inside me, but something still told me that it would only worsen the already awful dilemma we faced. Slowly we marched on, further and further down the line. The smell thickened, almost making me nauseous. I looked up at the balcony overlooking the large room. Several guards stood together, rifles in hand, smirking down at us. They must enjoy seeing us do this every week.
The line stopped. Hope! I could see at the front of the line a man had halted. He couldn’t bring himself to move any further. Whether it was fear, hatred, or defiance, it was only a futile attempt to resist the inevitable. A guard quickly shoved him along with the butt of his rifle and the line moved on.

We were so close. Oh god the smell. It was awful. I picked up the cold metal tray on the counter next to me and moved forward, tears slowly welling in my eyes. How I’ve made it this far, survived this many times, I will never know. There were only three men in front of me now. I would soon have to face this evil once again. Two men ahead of me. I thought about running, I began scanning the environment around me, looking for a way out or a path through the guards. My grip on the tray tightened. Only one man ahead now. I forgot about any hope of escape and took a deep breath. I slowly looked up at the sign posted on the wall ahead of me. Even though I look at it every week, I still felt the urge to drop to my knees once I read it…

“CHILI NIGHT”

It was my turn. I held up my tray and let the burly man pour the sickeningly brown concoction into my bowl. I fought back tears as I walked over to the table with the other men and sat down.
I looked down at it. It was an abomination. A crime against humanity. I couldn’t even understand how it was considered food. This dish brought murderers and bank robbers to tears.

How…how could any man serve this to another human being. I lifted my spoon and closed my eyes as I brought it to my lips.

I will not describe my experience of eating it. I just can’t. What I will say is that tears were shed, blood was spilled, and men were broken.

Some inmates argue that the aftermath is the worst part. I could agree. This chili had the power to clean out your colon in under two hours. And you felt it every step of the way. Slithering through your intestines like a plumbing snake.

My cellmate and I continuously fought over the small metal toilet in the corner of our cell. We ended up taking shifts. One of us got it for 3 minutes, while other stood back desperately clutching his rear end, trying to contain the beast that was awakened inside of our digestive tract. Our cell block was filled with screams of agony. They say chili night is the best time to escape, because no guard dares enter the prison blocks due to the permeating stench that could strip paint from a wall and bend a steel beam.

After three hours, the block became quiet.

“Is…is it over?” I heard a voice ask from down the hall.

Yes. It’s over.